Title:
Date: Wednesday, October 29, 2008
one month later and im back. hahs. guess now this blog is more suitable for personal entries cos ppl hardly visit my blog alr cos they jus assume i dun update. (:
dunno why but have been feeling weird tonight. the feeling reli sucks. and im trying hard to un-emo myself. nah its not you who made me emo. i emo-ed myself. dun blame urself okie?
im jus being so so paranoid all of a sudden. suddenly feel the insecurity which ive been trying to hide frm all these while. perhaps im feelin so emo cos i jus watched hot shot ba. feel that im so like yuan da ying. but not as wei da thou. but if i were given a chance to do such sacrificial things for her, i would. even if it means sacrificing my life.
boo. after all, i have no right to control you or your life. but i hope my life could be controlled by you thou. hahs.
reli feel like letting all the tears out right now. where at least your shoulder is there for me. where your presence will comfort me. but i cant. cos i dun wanna bring more stress and worry to you. you've enough on your mind alr. but well, nobody will understand. perhaps meiping or cally will. haha. up till now, i still think the two of them are the ones who understands me inside out most. they never fail to knw how im feeling and what i would do at certain circumstances.
why is my heart feeling so pain? :(
trying hard to ignore the pain by studying. but its so difficult. whenever that phone rings, i just cant help it. p-a-r-a-n-o-i-d.
but still, im telling myself not to lose myself. cos i dun wanna make her worry do i? of cos not. i only want her to be happy. yes i do.