Title:
Date: Monday, January 7, 2008
I'VE HAD ENOUGH. I GOTTA SAY WHATS ON MY MIND. TO SOMEONE, OR SOMETHING.
my patience has its limits. something's so so wrong between us. you might not feel it, but i do. and its hurting me deeply. this is the first time since sec 3 a friendship has made me feel so hurt, so lost, so helpless. i thought that working tgt would be good, would be fun. but now i really dread going to work tgt. if being besties means giving you the right to order me around, hurt my pride, lower my self-esteem, compare me with others, saying that im irritating, im sorry. i dun wanna be that anymore. id rather be nothing. once or twice is fine. but this has been happening everyday. everytime. ive been giving you hints, but u jus dun get it. is it really such a coincidence that everytime we go out tgt, u're tired? if going out with me is such a bore, such a fuss, then dont. it'd be better for both of us. i dun hafta entertain your foul mood and feel guilty and helpless, and u dun hav to bare with me. and i really dun like you comparing me and her. since she's so good, then go lah. i dun nd that, really. and i really dun care whether im shuai or whether my skinnys are skinny or not. so dun bother trying to lower my self esteem every single day u see me by commenting on how girl i m, how not skinny my skinnys are, how ugly my hair is compared to hers. i may not seem to care, but do u think i reli dont, with u saying that every single day, to every one you see? and i know im a nice person, to the extent that u can boss me around like nobody's business, and i have to abide by u. but when i ask for a simple favour, nothing can be done. this is really fine, actually, cos i really dun ask for anything in return. but i really cant stand the way u keep saying that im irritating. since im really that irritating, then dun talk to me, dun sms me, dun call me! saying in a joking tone is alright, saying it once is alright, but today, you said it 4 times. and 3 times in 10 minutes. thats only for today ok. this word has been coming from u since a week ago. sorry but if u dun care about this friendship, i do. and now im starting to wonder why do i even care. 3 years of friendship, and this is the first time i really feel the gap between us, first time i really dunno what to do about you.
if you're reading this, im sorry but i really would have exploded if i kept it to myself.
feeling much better after a good cry.